Convenient double standards. When I dont say it out because you're not obligated to make me feel better (sure you will tell me this if I told you what displeases me), its just my own foolish one-sided thinking. When you put it across what displeases you, even though you have done it to me, its only right, afterall, it was just stupidity on my part that I didnt put my thoughts and feelings out front to you when it affected me.
Surely, words come easy. It has always. Words of love, romance, misses, affection. And so comes along with the spiteful, hatred, wrath and rage. Your fury has taken its toll on me, and so have your goodbyes. I'm right about you again. You never stay too long to not think about leaving. Only this time, I took precaution. Like I've said, I wouldnt let you have it easy again, walking in and out on me. I'm not going to try just because you are ready. After those years of lies, deceit, disloyalty, commitment isses (yours), you finally told yourself, its time to settle down with the one I love, with the one I will come home to.
You've failed to realised how you and your lies has damaged me. Of course, you would claim, pain is personal, talking about your great 10 months, over-ruling what I've done for years. Because what I've done is in the past, your 10 months, was more recent. Am I right to say that? You had your fun, your share of 'playing the field', your mind games, your 'flirting', your 'break her into a million pieces and I dont give a shit', so now what? I want my forever with you? So you just come knocking back on my door and I'm supposed to receive you with open arms? I've done that a million times before and I look stupid.
How about the broken pieces that I've to mend alone? How about the times you left me? How about the times you broke me? How about me? How about me being painfully shattered and damaged? I'm still healing, can you not see that at all? Or at you too caught up with your fun and 'time to settle down'?
Everytime you want to try, you just tell me "ok, i'm ready to try. you should try. i'm already trying. what do you want more? why are you not trying?"
I'm jaded. You take no time to break me but you expect me to fix myself. How is it that you leave me and fall in love and come back to me and tell me "ok, i'm sure, i love you'?
Have you explained anything to me at all? Honestly? Or have you just been holding back all the facts, just because I'd wait for you to tell me when you feel like it? I'm not stupid. I'm not born yesterday. And I've played these games with you a thousand other times before to know what kinda tricks are up your sleeves.
But you know what? You're right and I'm wrong. So lets just leave it at that. I've battled this "your fault my fault" thing with you for years and its time to just let you win. Afterall, its all that matters to you.
You're everything that I've dreamed of, and everything thats wrong.
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And oh, friends, dont show me attitude. I'm not obligated to take in your shit. I'm not your family members and if I'm not happy with you, I'll show it in your face. I do not have to act nice or let you have your way. If you're wrong, you're wrong. Dont step on others agony just to boost your ego. Its sick and its digusting.